10.3.14

Douché

I think... that I don't change so much around different people. Of course I'm influenced too, but if there is a long-term balance I'm more likely to influence rather than being influenced.

I know one thing that I take on from people that I'm around though, language, way of speaking, mimic automatically... well anyways...

There's something that I really think about around others though, at least when it happens; how I do not want to be.

Like when someone starts being braggy or makes jokes "below the belt" on others behalf... or when someone is complaining too much... or blaming things on others... I'm like mah god, I hate that. I never want to be like that. I never want to appear like this person just did.

You know, someone starts bragging and you just want to smack a word in their face, "mm (fill in with your story)". I TRY TO RESIST because WHATEVER if that person thinks he/she has/is something out of the ordinary. I'd rather nod and "oh" and keep quiet. You know, good for you. If there is something special about me anyways, like so special that it's worth mentioning, others will notice eventually and mention this about me. If that fact/thing is relevant to anyone, at all.

I know I say the wrong things too... I present bad jokes and I probably appear braggy at times too... sometimes I'm like, hell, why did I phrase it like that!? But I try to think about it, and take lessons from others, and adjust; be less of a character that I do not want to be...

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