Isn't it odd, how sometimes not doing anything can be pure torture. Absolutely devastating. But! Most of the waiting is over for a couple of days... I got a 4 in internal medicine (cardiology) and a 5 for trauma 2. Honestly I'm disappointed with the 4 because I put a lot of effort into my studies but the examinor seems to have very special criteria to give a 5...

Right now I just got back home from a deal at LSB, which I was stood up on! So at this moment I have 12 liters of soda, but no speakers for my birthday party that I'm hosting tomorrow. If everything goes well I should have the speakers delievered to my house... but who knows!?



Christmas --- 8 degrees, birdsong and sun.. why not!? Walked to the swimming pool and swam 2 km once more. I'm able to appreciate that they stayed open for a few hours on christmas. In the evening went to Vanessa's house for dinner and games. Fun :)

Woke up at 4 PM (??) and spent the (remaining) day with Dennis, cleaning cooking baking and EATING. Saw this movie "I origins" which was touching and interesting...

Haven't had my hair in a mid-part since I was 10, but I think it works now that my bangs grew out quite long.


Early bird

Urology went great, got a 5 :) next up is cardiology and trauma (trauma 2, another one) on 29th and 30th.

I'm up "early" today to go to the lab for my first long session cell culture thingy! A group of cells were activated with LPS yesterday and today we are going to run tests for some six hours - ELISA, flow cytometry and more, exciting!

Also - less than a month left until Dennis and I are going home <3


Ah, and

Forgot to mention I got a 5 in both exams last week. Wiiee. Now I have 2,5 days to study urology until Monday.


Went swimming with Anitha last night, so niice. I always forget to count the distance at some point, but the laps that I did count added up to 2km, so at least I swam that hehe.

We walked home, the air was nice and fresh... but some guy that tried to talk to us after the training waited for us by the entrance until we left and started following us... he kept up with our speed even when we ran/jogged... we finally lost him when we got to the university area. Really unpleasant and we're probably not walking home next time, unfortunately.

The swimsuit! Is my Xmas gift from Dennis. He wanted me to pick my gift... so I got this from Sheridyn Swim. "QUAD black" for anyone interested. It was perfect for training and passed the diving test haha. Actually haven't gotten a new sport's suit since I was 14. My old one is from Lane4 and... lasting 8 years, I have to say is some durable swimsuit. High quality, high five.



Slept with "bendy rollers" in my hair over night. I don't turn a lot during sleep, yet they still tend to come off a bit... So for a wild sleeper the procedure could be unreliable... But if you're like me and wake up with dead limbs now and then, go ahead, get those rollers. They sure are bendy.


Night, thoughts, contemplation

There's a big difference to being nice and pretending like you like someone. Pretending is not personal chemistry, positivity or politeness anymore. It has a secondary purpose, and I don't understand it.

A girl in particular made me think of this. I can't pinpoint whether I've been offended personally by her behaviour or if she's provoking me into thinking because she has a strong personality, or is simply an extreme example. Nevertheless, here we are.

She's always so nice to talk to, seems engaged in the conversation as if she cares. Smiling and laughing. It's very likable. Noticed that she is actually super nice to everyone. She is simply, so nice. When small things made my intuition say that she is pretentious, opportunistic... I was considering that it might be a misunderstanding from either my side or hers... since at times, it's so nice talking to her?

We were around eachother a bit more, which made me think that I had been wrong about her. But then she said things as "wasn't that person so weird" or "that girl is such a b****"... very easily, and her and I are not close friends. This was only a moment after her being super nice to that same person. I don't know if she talked negatively of others in attempt to connect with me, but it made me feel like she must have done the same thing to me 10 times already... because we have been "friendly" since 1st year...

You're allowed to have negative opinions of others, no one can like everybody on this planet. But WHY try to have everybody liking you, when you obviously don't like them? I would never be that negative or judging about someone that I "like". So what do you want from these people? I'm stuck because I really don't understand the intention, can't relate to it. Also isn't it exhausting, to pretend all the time!?

Need of an image? Need of acknowledgement? Does it spur from low self-esteem or exaggerated self-love? Is she over-compensating with niceness for things she cannot change about herself? What if she's a psycopath, in that case it's really not her fault.


Free time

Exam period. Cosy, or what say you? I'm taking traumatology on Wednesday and then retaking behavioural medicine on Thursday, because I want to improve my grade.

Tomorrow however is mostly about graduation since my friend Maria (L.) is officially becoming a doctor! Can barely believe that I'm also going to be a doctor, within three years already!? That's how fast life goes by...

But my hair aint gray yet :D


Pen and paper please

To top it off, my remote kept blinking red for several questions during today's exam in surgery. When it finally stopped blinking there wasn't even enough time left for me to enter all of my answers. It is frustrating that several departments insist on using radio frequency remotes for multiple choice exams, when it seems like there are technical issues every single time... I clearly wrote all of my answers on a papper sheet so I really hope that they can evaluate my exam based on that.


So far

So far this week has been really shitty. FFFFFFF

Also I have NO IDEA why SUDDENLY so many photos are missing from the blog. ????!!!


Barely, barely but

So thing is, my natural smile doesn't really make me look like I'm smiling. Unless I'm actively laughing, I have to make quite an effort to not look suspicious or fradulent. I suppose it's a Russian thing, we all know how real Russians don't smile.

The event photographer was disappointed with my participation to such an extent, that he decided to open a program, copy my face from another photo and paste it onto the original. When I right clicked to save the image, the file was even named "DSC-048-SMILE".

Oh hell no, you ain't ruining my masterpiece missy.

Although he did upload both versions of the photo...

Damn Russians...

There were a few more photos that I managed to perfectly ruin. Wonder why he kept them like that...
I suppose he realised the young woman in blue was beyond salvation.



We're halfway through medschool! The event was hilarious, no table had as much fun as ours. After noticing there was some Hungarian student named "Bence Bence", we set up a competition to who finds him first. Turned out that his name was "only" Pence Bence, but I found him and Vanessa and Hadi had to drink. After that we came up with many stupid things to do... love you guys. Beware of immature medical students.

My name is too easy to spell so they typed it wrong, in some way, as usual.. :P


Bus-y :)

So the obstetrics & gynaecology pre-final takes place tomorrow afternoon, good luck to us!

I've been sleep deprived the past month which isn't the nicest feeling, but somehow makes me work harder? Or maybe I don't really have a choice here and simply have to work harder to keep up? By the way my tutor for cardiology is great. Also life is great. It's so weird how someone can be depressed when there are so many beautiful things in life... is how I feel. I'm not depression resistant, I also have a day now and then, but in retrospect I simply can't grasp it. Especially people that really have everything in their life... how are you doing that?

So tomorrow exam, then feed and clean my cell culture (made my first one this Tuesday!), home and take a nap, or go to gym, and get ready for the 4th year ball which takes place in the evening. Dennis doesn't want to go so I'm going with Vanessa, Maria V. and a few more kids.

Photos from Viola's birthday dinner last Saturday!