Night, thoughts, contemplation

There's a big difference to being nice and pretending like you like someone. Pretending is not personal chemistry, positivity or politeness anymore. It has a secondary purpose, and I don't understand it.

A girl in particular made me think of this. I can't pinpoint whether I've been offended personally by her behaviour or if she's provoking me into thinking because she has a strong personality, or is simply an extreme example. Nevertheless, here we are.

She's always so nice to talk to, seems engaged in the conversation as if she cares. Smiling and laughing. It's very likable. Noticed that she is actually super nice to everyone. She is simply, so nice. When small things made my intuition say that she is pretentious, opportunistic... I was considering that it might be a misunderstanding from either my side or hers... since at times, it's so nice talking to her?

We were around eachother a bit more, which made me think that I had been wrong about her. But then she said things as "wasn't that person so weird" or "that girl is such a b****"... very easily, and her and I are not close friends. This was only a moment after her being super nice to that same person. I don't know if she talked negatively of others in attempt to connect with me, but it made me feel like she must have done the same thing to me 10 times already... because we have been "friendly" since 1st year...

You're allowed to have negative opinions of others, no one can like everybody on this planet. But WHY try to have everybody liking you, when you obviously don't like them? I would never be that negative or judging about someone that I "like". So what do you want from these people? I'm stuck because I really don't understand the intention, can't relate to it. Also isn't it exhausting, to pretend all the time!?

Need of an image? Need of acknowledgement? Does it spur from low self-esteem or exaggerated self-love? Is she over-compensating with niceness for things she cannot change about herself? What if she's a psycopath, in that case it's really not her fault.

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