Hello night

Skillz

On one hand my willpower is strong, on the other hand I'm very pragmatic and flexible. The contentment of people around me and a pleasant atmosphere is usually more important to me than having things going "my way". This/that can usually be done in several ways, and if someone has an opinion that is stronger than mine then I'm commonly willing to say OK, sure. I care more about the long run outcome.

It is definitely possible to manipulate me. I'm too nice. I'm even aware and allow it, simply because I see that the matter is of great importance to the other person. This has got to be happening without me noticing it but I can't really know that soo...

It's a good skill I think. I use it too. Build sentences that would lead towards what I want. Angling. One can imply, make connotations, add a positive/negative tone. Create emotions. Manipulation itself has a negative tone to it because yes people do use it maliciously, but it can be practiced cleverly for any cause.

It is not likable though, when someone appears as manipulative. In my opinion the attempt is a failure if it is obvious because it adds an unpleasant character (being sneaky). The success is in achieving the goal unnoticed. Because it is also possible to simply be straight forward about things, right to it. Actually this is so nice.

People make mistakes when they assume others to be stupid. Anyone can look stupid, doesn't mean that they are. Don't make this mistake, is what made me think about this in the first place.

Grr..

Back in Debrecen! The weather is moody and lovely.

Had that contrast-CT done an hour ago which turned out to be a quite negative experience. The nurse was incredibly rude and hard-handed and didn't care to explain ANYTHING. Whoever spoke to me in the microphone was either not informed or did not care that I don't speak Hungarian. The sound coming from the speakers wasn't clear so it took me three rounds of going into the machine until I understood "hold your breath"... my breathing was very shallow so hopefully I didn't ruin the first pictures :/

I was surprised how much the scan actually hurt after I was injected with the contrast material... which also was very unpleasant in general. Left the place feeling sad. Don't understand how medical staff can be so indifferent to treating a patient nicely...

Hej!

Gel

Anna and her sister happened to be at the country side too, so we took a walk yesterday. Much fun :D In July Anna is going to Melbourne for exchange, for a year!! With her boyfriend too. Holy I'm jelly!

Kärlek

Did a couple of exercises that we usually do for Thai-box-warm-up and ran four hill intervals, some push ups and sit ups too. Four hill intervals may sound little but it was well enough for me... more next time.

Feels so good to be here... can only describe it as Exactly what I wished for! A little summer in April. Can't be happier right now; the whole family is gathered at the countryside.

The water was ice cold :)

Sverigee

All three exams went good this week and I'm going home tomorrow morning :D it's like crazy windy buuuut...

Tut tut tut

Pull it together. BAD student. Reading everything apart from the material that's coming up in tomorrow's test.

Indecisive!

Have a lot to study today and can't figure out whether I should go to gym... or go on a jog... I am also in desperate need for milk because I will be out of it within less than half a liter. This would call for gym... or a jog which finishes outside a super market... I really need to study but I'd much rather visit the gym than say... procrastinate on my computer like I've been doing the whole "morning".

I focused on back and legs yesterday so that leaves me with some front page exercises like chest and biceps for today or tomorrow. I'm not very consistent about training muscle groups in general, as long as I know that I covered everything pretty equally throughout the week.

I took this picture yesterday just after I got home from gym. I'm much whiter in reality :P

Discomforted

Daaay. 8 - 15 at the dept. of internal medicine to investigate.. me. I've had large retroauricular lymph nodes for more than 1,5 years and in March I discovered that I also have enlarged posterior cervical nodes... I've had night sweats in periods a couple of times during the past year, so being me and a medical student upon that, obviously can't help but thinking about Hodgkin's.

Recently read that pain after alcohol intake is very rare, but very specific for Hodgkin's. Haven't been able to let that go so yesterday I freaked a bit when I was supposed to be studying for clinical physiology. Because the only alcohol I can drink is red wine for some reason and a few coctails, all other alcoholic beverages evoke really strong pain in my chest that lasts for about an hour. I know it's super weird... has been like this for a year or so. Even 2,5% beer or cider evokes it.

Without me mentioning any hypothesis, Hodgkin's was what the Hematologist thought of too. But my blood count and blood chemistry came back normal. Chest X-ray normal. Spleen and liver size normal. The only thing that was remarked is one of the lymph nodes which was big enough to cause concern, but it is still "very small" for what it is, and the anatomical structure of it is usual. Seems to be a reactive node...

Serological results for some viruses and toxoplasma will come next week and I'm doing a chest CT on Sunday morning to further rule out Hodgkin's and maybe get a clue of the alcohol associated pain. I'm going to try to insist on a needle biopsy because even if it can't tell exactly what causes the lymphadenopathy, it could show if the tissue is reactive or contains abnormal cells. Also my mom is really pushing me haha... and I know that if I keep having enlarged nodes... which I probably will... I'm going to regret not having a biopsy done.

By the way no, I don't feel sick at all. I feel awesome actually and stronger than ever! But when I have these weird things I'd much rather investigate them rather than pretend like nothing and wait until I'm stage IV Hodgkin's with systemic symptoms ya know.

Please share your story if you have one :)

Selfie from a different angle -

Babyyy

Tonight Dennis and I visited Matan and his wife and their baby!!!! Ariel is four months old and is the cutest baby ever. I forgot to take pictures over there :( we ate super tasty home-made vegetarian pizza and fruit dipped in chocolate. I know the name but I can't spell it and I'm too lazy to google but you know that French name for fruit dipped in chocolate...

I've barely studied today but it's time to go to bed... at least had an awesome session at the gym :D working out a little more often really... works haha.

Thus,

Time to study again. Hard core. There will be a lot of this in the coming weeks, I promise (myself). Yeees plenty of midterm exams all the way until the 17th of April when I'm going home to Sweden for about a week! :) I'm gonna relaaax at home, but will have to study Microbiology.

Today went on that morning jog! Did not go well.. I definitely have to do an extensive knee warm-up prior to the jog if this is going to work for me. So that means I have to wake up probably another 15 minutes earlier to have time for a jog before school... means I have to go to bed at least another 30 minutes earlier. Eager to give it a serious go!

Recieved the long sleeve running top, the colour is gorgeous. I'll share with you when I wear it :) and I just have to give Forever21 some credit for their sportswear, this is my third piece and I seriously love the quality. The price is so good too!? The tank and shorts below are also from Forever21.

My workout this week -

Mon: Thai boxing
Tue: Gym
Wed: Thai boxing
Thu: -
Fri: Gym
Sat: 2 km jog
Sun: Gym?

How to win

By the way,

I love it when braggy people find out that I'm better than them at something. Especially if I'm better at the thing they were expressing their bragging about. Mmmm.

I try not to radiate my pleasure, of course. The satisfaction comes from the indirect effect.

They cannot avoid to notice... they know now. And they are a little confounded. Why didn't I tell them when they expressed how good they were themselves...

Because it is very satisfying to win twice. In reality, and in the long run aswell.

Disclaimer: I'm not the best at everything pffff I'm just quite good at a lot of things ---

About saying "hi" and stuff / late night blabla

OK so sometimes I truly, genuinely fail to say Hi because I'm a zombie deep in thought. Although I may look like I'm aware of my surroundings... sorry, I was not. I really wanted to say Hi!

In a few cases the presence of a certain person makes me shy and I simply cannot say Hi.

Then there's the rare kind where I fail to say Hi because I'm angry with something. I always regret when I don't greet people for this reason. After all, they are innocent.

In other I think it very important to greet a person that I know or recognize from a common somewhere. If it's someone I've talked to I would say Hiiiiii heeyyyooo!!

But! If I'm insecure about the relation between me and the person... if I don't really know whether we have chemistry or not... I need eye contact in order to say Hi. I'd say that I offer my part of this eye contact 99% of the times. I'm so confused when I don't get it back! Usually cannot greet without it. I know that they saw me, we even walked past eachother, so why no reciprocal eye contact? Does this mean they don't want to say Hi or do they belong to one of my cases above? I'd love to say Hi if you just give me the approval through some eye contact!

Don't worry I'm gonna practice my Hi-saying too...

There's one thing though... ugh. When a friend in common doesn't greet you normally EVER, they even avoid it (don't know why) and/but suddenly (!) at a party or something they don't see you at first, then come to say Hi to the common friend and BAM-oh (!?) there's this forced moment of greetings and they be like Hiiiiii Maria How are youuu!!

What? And a hug? No I'm not hugging you...

Mission impossible

Missed my appointment for the (compulsory) physical examination in what.. October... today I suddenly had some excess free time over while I was still at campus. At last - paid the fee at the post office and went to the doc... to sit in line... there's no movement around there somehow, so you never know for sure if the doctor is there... 30 minutes later I find that despite my efforts I was still missing that little blue paper where it says that I have done a chest X-ray recently. !!!!! Electronic communication between departments at the University? No why would there be, it's not like it's year 3000.

So now I found that paper at home and off I go to try again... may the force be with me.

Muay Thai

Wazzzaaaa

So, tonight I just had my first Thai boxing session with a PT. Eleni hijacked me there. So far it's her, me and this very cute Hungarian guy who is our PT.

Basically what we did was a warm-up, followed by technical training (stance, kicking, punching), some core exercises and stretching. About 100 minutes.

I was so bad, haha! Can only improve from here. Thing is I may be quite fit yes, but damn I'm extremely un-flexible and I feel like my cerebellum got to work even harder than my muscles. I think it's so cool how the cerebellum learns new movements... The neurons adjust their synapses to make every single repetition more efficient and exact. Research says that it takes some 10 000 hours of training to become an expert at something.

Well I'm super excited about this :D I know nothing about kicking someone's ass and the only self-defence that I know of is running away soo...

Training will be on Mondays and Wednesdays.